Thursday, March 24, 2011
Cracked and Thankful.
This week has been full of errands and a never ending to do list. I was in a bad mood on Tuesday and did not even want to look at my list. Responsibility won and out the door I went. I got in the car and and let it warm up as I whined and pouted in my head about all the things that were bugging me. Some of them were with reason and some of them were just plain selfish but either way I was digging my self deeper in to my mood.
I got on the road and continued my pity party until I was made aware of how ridiculous I was being. True tragedy has struck our world this last week. People in my own life lost loved ones over the weekend, people in my own life are fighting just to continue living their lives, people in my own life are facing real hardship, and people in own my life are taking some of their last breaths.
My heart hurt and I was filled with thankfulness for my blessings instead of complaints for my minor inconveniences. I continued my errands with new eyes. Everything was so simply beautiful. I passed two sisters shopping and laughing together. I overheard a sweet older lady strike up a conversation with another older man and they joked and laughed as two strangers. I watched an elderly couple grocery shop together arm in arm. I passed a young man sitting outside singing his heart out with his eyes closed. Everything gave me goosebumps. I saw so much beauty in these lives around me. But I also knew that at one time, before today, there was pain. There was brokenness. At some point those two sisters experienced something hard together. At some time something happened in the lives of the joking elderly man and woman that caused them to be at the store alone befriending a stranger. I'm sure the elderly couple had endured struggles in the years of their marriage. And that young man on the curb passionately sang songs of pain and loneliness with his eyes closed.
In all of this beauty there was once brokenness.
I don't know where you are today but I know that we all have troubles. We all have fear. We all have reasons to stress. We all have doubts. We all have heart ache. We are all flawed. We are all human. We all live on this crazy, beautiful, sometimes scary planet earth. Each of us are going through something. Each of us have giants we are facing. Each of us have been wounded. Each of us are imperfect people trying to pull our imperfect pieces together to make something that fits.
But in all of this brokenness there is so much potential for beauty.
I have chosen to give up and give my pieces over to the one that saved me. I am still flawed. I still struggle. I still fear. I still have heart ache. I still face giants. And I still break... but I have chosen to let my Savior make beauty from the cracks in my life. It is through my cracks that the light shines. It is through my cracks that I have learned what 'whole' means. It is through my cracks that I have been healed. It is through my cracks that I am humbled. It is my cracks that have given me a heart of thanksgiving. It is because of those very cracks and shattering moments of my soul that I have found life. There is wisdom from mistakes. There is encouragement from discouragement. There is strength from weariness. There is boldness from fear. There is beauty in the cracks.
Although they hurt, I am thankful for my cracks. It is in my cracks that I know my blessings. And I know that I am undeniably blessed. I am so thankful that He has taken my imperfect pieces and reformed them to beauty. I know that in this world I will have trouble but I have taken heart because I know He has already overcome it. I know that in this world I will have weakness but I also know that His power, peace, and love is made perfect in weakness. And I am thankful for that. So. Thankful.
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. " Philippians 4:6-7
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9